Writer’s Block?
I’ve been trying to write for the past four days, and nothing is coming out.
Actually, plenty of stuff is flowing, but it’s either stuff I don’t want to make public or it’s stuff I can’t make cohesive or it’s stuff I can’t make sense of yet. In other words, stuff that’s perfect for not posting.
So I might not be posting…
May Angels Lead You In
“Northern Illinois University students Matthew Crupe, 18, (left) and Logan Short, 18, both of O’Fallon, hold signs showing their support for fellow students on Friday, Feb. 15, 2008, on the campus in DeKalb.”
Source: RRStar
There’s no one in town I know
You gave us some place to go
I never said thank you for that
‘thought I might get one more chance
What would you think of me now?
So lucky, so strong, so proud
I never said thank you for that
Now I’ll never have a chance
May angels lead you in
Hear you me my friends
On sleepless roads, the sleepless go
May angels lead you in
So what would you think of me now?
So lucky, so strong, so proud
I never said thank you for that
Now I’ll never have a chance
May angels lead you in
Hear you me my friends
On sleepless roads the sleepless go
May angels lead you in
(May angels lead you in)
May angels lead you in
(May angels lead you in)
May angels lead you in
And if you were with me tonight
I’d sing to you just one more time
A song for a heart so big
God couldn’t let it live
May angels lead you in
Hear you me my friends
On sleepless roads the sleepless go
May angels lead you in
May angels lead you in
Hear you me my friends
On sleepless roads the sleepless go
May angels lead you in
- Jimmy Eat World
School Shooting at Northern Illinois University
It’s been a stressful week. I have midterms for winter quarter and a new role at work with much more responsibility. Today was the release of an alpha version of our newest software package, and I had one hour left, exactly enough time to hit our deadline.
I was always jealous of people who had lived in one place all their lives, because they had best friends from childhood. That jealousy was curbed when I realized I had a best friend too - my brother. My brother and I are closer than any other brother/sister pair I know. People think it’s strange I consider my brother my best and dearest childhood friend, but I don’t care. That’s what happens when you’re an Air Force brat living overseas - when your entire world changes on a yearly basis, you cling to the one thing that stays constant - your family.
My brother called me at 4pm, right in the midst of my crazy deadline mayhem. “Hey, I can’t talk right now. Let me call you back.”
“Oh.”
“… Is it something important?”
“I just wanted to let you know I’m okay. I don’t know if you heard on the news, but there was a shooting at NIU today.”
My heart stopped. A little message at the corner of the screen popped up showing a new message from one of my coworkers. “Breaking News: NIU Shooting.” Right.
The shooting took place in the commons right next to my brother’s dorm. In the buildings my brother was at 10 minutes earlier.
Immediately after hanging up, I was bombarded by what ifs. What if my brother had been there 10 minutes later? What if the shooter had opened fire a few buildings over? What if there was another shooter? I wanted to cry. I wanted to scream. I wanted to get into my non-existent car and drive to DeKalb.
I did nothing. Technically, I sat there silently, calmly, and finished my work for the day, though I still have no idea if it is correct. But I had a deadline, and “what ifs” don’t count as emergencies. My brother was safe, the campus was locked down, and there was nothing I could do.
The Valentine’s Day flowers sitting on my desk had been the highlight of my day a few hours earlier; now, wilted, they reminded me of funerals. It’s amazing how things can change so quickly.
I considered skipping my evening marketing class, but what was the point? To sit at home by myself in an empty condo? To be without distractions so I could concentrate fully on being helpless and sad? So I went and preoccupied myself by talking to all the happy people desensitized to school shootings.
Now I’m finally home, and I can finally cry. Cry for the victims. Cry for their families. Cry for the victims’ lost futures.
Logic rarely fails me, but school shootings transcend logic. Just like I can’t argue with an illogical statement, I can’t comprehend an illogical act.
The only thing I understand is that my brother is still alive. My heart goes out to the families that can’t say the same.
When Social Media Goes Too Far…
This is possibly the stupidest thing I’ve ever seen.