My Not Post Secret
Today, my husband asked me if I had sent something to Post Secret. For the record, I didn’t.
But this is the same jail we visited on our honeymoon.
Weird.
Love This Song
Maybe I’d be better on my own
No one ever seems to understand me
It’s easier for me to be alone
But there’s still a piece of me that feels so empty
I’ve been all over the world
I’ve seen a million different places
But through the crowds and all the faces
I’m still out there looking for you.
[Chorus:]
Where are you now?
I’m trying to get by with never knowing at all
What is the chance of finding you out there?
Or do I have to wait forever?
I write about the things I’ll never know
And I can’t find a moment just to slow down
It makes me think I’ll never have the chance
To figure out what it’s all about
So tell me what it’s all about.
Where are you now… Michelle Branch
Writer’s Block?
I’ve been trying to write for the past four days, and nothing is coming out.
Actually, plenty of stuff is flowing, but it’s either stuff I don’t want to make public or it’s stuff I can’t make cohesive or it’s stuff I can’t make sense of yet. In other words, stuff that’s perfect for not posting.
So I might not be posting…
May Angels Lead You In
“Northern Illinois University students Matthew Crupe, 18, (left) and Logan Short, 18, both of O’Fallon, hold signs showing their support for fellow students on Friday, Feb. 15, 2008, on the campus in DeKalb.”
Source: RRStar
There’s no one in town I know
You gave us some place to go
I never said thank you for that
‘thought I might get one more chance
What would you think of me now?
So lucky, so strong, so proud
I never said thank you for that
Now I’ll never have a chance
May angels lead you in
Hear you me my friends
On sleepless roads, the sleepless go
May angels lead you in
So what would you think of me now?
So lucky, so strong, so proud
I never said thank you for that
Now I’ll never have a chance
May angels lead you in
Hear you me my friends
On sleepless roads the sleepless go
May angels lead you in
(May angels lead you in)
May angels lead you in
(May angels lead you in)
May angels lead you in
And if you were with me tonight
I’d sing to you just one more time
A song for a heart so big
God couldn’t let it live
May angels lead you in
Hear you me my friends
On sleepless roads the sleepless go
May angels lead you in
May angels lead you in
Hear you me my friends
On sleepless roads the sleepless go
May angels lead you in
- Jimmy Eat World
School Shooting at Northern Illinois University
It’s been a stressful week. I have midterms for winter quarter and a new role at work with much more responsibility. Today was the release of an alpha version of our newest software package, and I had one hour left, exactly enough time to hit our deadline.
I was always jealous of people who had lived in one place all their lives, because they had best friends from childhood. That jealousy was curbed when I realized I had a best friend too - my brother. My brother and I are closer than any other brother/sister pair I know. People think it’s strange I consider my brother my best and dearest childhood friend, but I don’t care. That’s what happens when you’re an Air Force brat living overseas - when your entire world changes on a yearly basis, you cling to the one thing that stays constant - your family.
My brother called me at 4pm, right in the midst of my crazy deadline mayhem. “Hey, I can’t talk right now. Let me call you back.”
“Oh.”
“… Is it something important?”
“I just wanted to let you know I’m okay. I don’t know if you heard on the news, but there was a shooting at NIU today.”
My heart stopped. A little message at the corner of the screen popped up showing a new message from one of my coworkers. “Breaking News: NIU Shooting.” Right.
The shooting took place in the commons right next to my brother’s dorm. In the buildings my brother was at 10 minutes earlier.
Immediately after hanging up, I was bombarded by what ifs. What if my brother had been there 10 minutes later? What if the shooter had opened fire a few buildings over? What if there was another shooter? I wanted to cry. I wanted to scream. I wanted to get into my non-existent car and drive to DeKalb.
I did nothing. Technically, I sat there silently, calmly, and finished my work for the day, though I still have no idea if it is correct. But I had a deadline, and “what ifs” don’t count as emergencies. My brother was safe, the campus was locked down, and there was nothing I could do.
The Valentine’s Day flowers sitting on my desk had been the highlight of my day a few hours earlier; now, wilted, they reminded me of funerals. It’s amazing how things can change so quickly.
I considered skipping my evening marketing class, but what was the point? To sit at home by myself in an empty condo? To be without distractions so I could concentrate fully on being helpless and sad? So I went and preoccupied myself by talking to all the happy people desensitized to school shootings.
Now I’m finally home, and I can finally cry. Cry for the victims. Cry for their families. Cry for the victims’ lost futures.
Logic rarely fails me, but school shootings transcend logic. Just like I can’t argue with an illogical statement, I can’t comprehend an illogical act.
The only thing I understand is that my brother is still alive. My heart goes out to the families that can’t say the same.
When Social Media Goes Too Far…
This is possibly the stupidest thing I’ve ever seen.
2008 Is the Year of the Rat
I know, because everyone keeps reminding me.
The Rat is one of the few Chinese years I remember. I wasn’t sure why, and then I remembered my birth year is the year of the Rat.
That means I’m 24 this year. Seems like a good time for a quarter-life crisis.
After all, that means I get to live until I’m 96.
Gas Prices Are Too Low
By now, gas prices are old news. Gas is up, gas is down, but one thing doesn’t change - we still buy it.
People think it’s a problem that Americans consume too much gasoline. We do, but the real problem is Americans are in love with the convenience of having our own cars. The gasoline by itself means nothing to us - it’s the convenience of our cars that is worth paying the price of gas.
So really, gas prices are too low. We would pay much more than we do now to keep our cars and not have to carpool, take public transportation, or ride our bikes. How much higher would we go? How much money would you actually give to keep your car?
When the price of gas reaches the limit we would pay to keep our cars, gas prices might finally be high enough to make some changes in this world.
Revelations at Lucky Strike
Last night I went to Lucky Strike in downtown Chicago for this seminar I am taking in grad school.
Background:
I don’t go bowling because I am bad at bowling and, like most people, I don’t like to do things I am bad at. Unfortunately, other people like bowling and schedule bowling events because they are great for social mixers with a large group of people. Alas, I bowl on occasion when it benefits me for networking or my career.
It’s not that I haven’t tried to get better at bowling.
In fact, when I was younger I tried to improve my score by getting coaching from countless friends on how to throw the ball. When that didn’t work, I opted for a quarter long bowling course in high school. The bowling course helped - for my efforts, my score improved from the low 30’s to the high 50’s. (Thank goodness the course wasn’t graded.)
Getting back to the story.
I went bowling last night knowing I was going to make a fool of myself, and when it was my turn to bowl, I threw a predictable round of gutter balls to start. Luckily I was comfortable enough with this group to not be embarassed, especially when the guy who had never bowled in his life (”Why does this ball have holes?”) proceeded to throw a spare on his first turn.
At some point between my first and second turn I had a revelation. (Either that, or the Miller Lite I was drinking had finally entered my bloodstream.) All this time I had been throwing the ball the way I was taught to throw it - underhand - and it constantly hooked to the left gutter every time. What I was doing was clearly not working; thus, knowing I could do no worse than usual, I decided to experiment with my roll. On my second turn, I rolled the ball with my palm facing in towards my leg, and to my surprise, the ball went straight down the center of the lane and knocked down eight pins. Even more surprising - I aimed my second throw at the remaining two pins and got a spare.
I continued to roll the ball “my way” with great results (relatively). I stopped throwing gutter balls, almost always hit at least a few pins, and finished with some spares and one strike. The results of my experiment were clear with an end score of 89, a personal best.
Okay, you can stop laughing now.
89 is still a lame score by bowling standards, but I’m fine with it. The point is that by creating my own throwing technique tailored specifically to me, I was able to reach a new personal best. Throwing the way everyone else threw never won me games because my body didn’t perform as well using someone else’s moves.
What can we learn from this?
We can apply this to just about any situation where we are trying to get from point A to point B. Whatever your goals in life, it is wise to study and consult with others who reached those goals in their own lives. In the end, however, you must create your own roadmap to success based on your skills, beliefs, and comfort zone. By doing this, you will achieve your personal best and be that much closer to your ultimate goals.
No promises on the bowling championship though.